AT 43, I’VE GIVEN UP THE HOUSE OWNERSHIP DREAM – A CAR HAS BROUGHT ME MORE JOY

In the first week of January, I bought a second-hand car, clearing a large chunk of my savings and effectively killing off my chances of owning a home. I had just turned 43 and realised that no matter how much I worked, I’d never save enough for a deposit on a flat. Instead of trying to fit into a system that isn’t built for me, I said goodbye to the dream of homeownership and feel pretty happy about it.

I’m unsure if homeownership was ever my ambition or something people told me I should do. It’s seen as one of those indicators that you’re a “proper” grown-up and a milestone that most of my friends have achieved. At times in my late twenties and thirties, I felt miserable about being left behind, but as a single person with no generational wealth, erratic earnings, and a history of bad debt, I was never an attractive candidate for a mortgage.

According to Zoopla, more than four in ten British adults under 40 who do not currently own a home are now “Guppies” – young people, many of whom have professional careers and big salaries, who have “Given Up on Property”. Instead of tying themselves down to a mortgage, “Guppies” prioritise things like travelling and investing elsewhere, such as stocks or business ventures, without the long-term commitment of owning property.

Robin Edwards, a property buying agent at Curetons, says he’s seeing more millennial and Gen Z renters putting the dream of owning property on indefinite hold.

“I regularly speak with people who feel completely priced out, not just of their preferred locations, but of ownership full stop. It’s no longer just lower-income households, but also dual-income professionals who, a decade or two ago, would have been well on their way to owning. Many are rethinking what financial success or security looks like – prioritising lifestyle, flexibility and mental health over pursuing an increasingly elusive first step on the housing ladder.”

The friends who used to nag at me to get on the property ladder are now telling me I am the lucky one as they stress about their mortgage payments doubling, not being able to sell their home or living on a building site because their renovation projects have stalled over money issues. I used to envy them, but now, not so much.

I’d been saving for eight years, but the most I ever had banked was £12,000, which was a lot of money to me, but measly in terms of property.

According to recent Zoopla data, first-time buyers could typically end up paying around a fifth less in monthly mortgage payments than privately renting, provided they can stump up around £50,000 for a deposit. That figure is simply unattainable for me. Anytime I did save a decent sum of money, primarily by working 50 hours a week as a freelance writer and giving up anything resembling a social life, a financial emergency, such as an unforeseen trip to the vet hospital for my dog that wasn’t covered by insurance, came along and wiped it out.

I have decided to choose renting. I’m not tied into a contract. I have a landlord who permits redecorating and pets, and I’m paying £800 a month (well below the local market average) for a spacious one-bedroom flat in a nice part of Edinburgh. I love knowing that I can move at a month’s notice if I need to, and I am happy that it is somebody else’s problem if the boiler or washing machine breaks down.

Of course, renting lacks security, but the future isn’t guaranteed. Someone I was close to died a month after paying off their mortgage at 56, meaning they had worked hard all their life to achieve the goal of owning their home outright, but didn’t live long enough to enjoy it.

Yes, it would be lovely not to pay rent in retirement, but who am I buying a property for? I’m not married and will never have children, so I feel there’s little point in killing myself with work to pay for something that I will probably never completely own.

Read Next: I pay £750 a month to flat share at 58 – I’ve come to terms with renting forever

When I let go of the idea of home ownership. I made a list of things I wanted to prioritise in my life instead: travel, seeing friends who live in tricky-to-reach areas, and collecting more life experiences and memories. It dawned on me that owning a car would allow me to do all these things and more.

While I tried to save, I realised my life had become very small. I was working 10-hour days, going on the same walks with my dog, and I hadn’t managed even a short break in 2024 because wrangling a dog and luggage on various buses and expensive trains is fairly stress-inducing.

I’d considered buying a car since passing my driving test at 31, but a mixture of driving anxiety and the thought of adding another expense to my already stretched budget deterred me. In December, I paid for refresher driving lessons and discovered that driving was quite relaxing, not stressful. This newfound confidence behind the wheel coincided with my dad giving up driving for health reasons.

Dad offered me his car, but after several disagreements with its gear-box, we agreed that I should look for an automatic car. We spent the festive period researching cars and found a four-year-old Hyundai at a local dealership for £12,000, which seemed perfect for me. This would clear me out financially, but I was ready to make the leap.

When we went to buy the car, my dad surprised me by saying he would offer his car as part-exchange, bringing the cost of the car down by £4,000. This would allow me to keep some of my savings, which was a relief because I’d feel anxious without a financial safety net.

It’s hard to articulate just how much my life has changed for the better since buying a car. My weeks are now full of joyful, spontaneous trips to the beaches that run down the east coast of Scotland. A previous one-and-a-half-hour journey to see a close friend who lives just down the coast in East Lothian now takes 25 minutes in the car, meaning we can spend more time catching up, rather than me constantly checking an app to see if my train home is still running.

In February, I drove to the countryside 10 miles outside of Edinburgh to witness the seven planets align in the night sky, something I couldn’t see from my light-polluted city. In March, I went on my first holiday in over a year, taking my dog Bonnie away to a remote wigwam in Fife to switch off properly and recharge. Instead of saying “no” to opportunities because I am penny-pinching, I say “yes” to everything I can.

I am continuing to save, although I am not putting pressure on myself to hit a specific target. I am still careful with my money, but I’m no longer interested in accruing wealth or investing in anything other than myself in any significant way. I won’t sacrifice my joy, hoping to own some property in 30 years. Because who knows how long I will get to spend in it anyway?

2025-05-31T05:40:53Z